will you be my parent?

A few weeks ago we had our term-ual (what’s a word for once-a-term?) visitation day at the New Horizon Nursery and Primary Schools. (Those are the schools here at Noah’s Ark.) It is basically the equivalent of open house and parent-teacher conferences done at the same time. The teachers stay at school all morning on Saturday so parents can come with their children and see the progress they are making in school. 

Before that day, the students and teachers spend some time preparing the classrooms and all their work in a presentable manner. By the time they leave school on Friday, the classrooms are swept, each student has a pile of notebooks on his or her desk, plus a file full of midterm exams and past papers, and teachers have filled out class lists of how each student is doing in each subject and socially. 

Of course, it makes it a bit difficult when we have a compound full of children and no parents. 

That Saturday morning, as we were fishing with some of the children, I asked Abraham, “If I want to see how you are doing in school, which teacher do I need to come see today?” I knew he was in Primary 4 (fourth grade) and his teacher had been sick for the last week. I was mostly checking to see if the school had made sure there was another teacher covering for her. He said to find Tr. Annet, the head teacher (principal) and she would be in that classroom. 

Later that morning, when fishing was over and Christian and I were sitting down to a late breakfast, Abraham showed up at the door. “Auntie Katie, you said you wanted to come talk to my teacher.” 

I was taken aback, considering I had asked only to check in on the teacher, not on Abraham himself, but I was not about to refuse him. I told him I would come down in a little while, as soon as we finished our breakfast. 

When I came down to school, I found Abraham in the P.4 classroom. Tr. Annet was sitting at a desk, surrounded by at least four boys and girls from the children’s home and a couple of aunties who care for them. I was happy to see some other adults had come down to talk with the teachers, and was about to leave when Abraham motioned for me to come over. 

I came at the end of one auntie telling Abraham, “When you need help, don’t be silent. Come find me or someone else who can answer your questions. You don’t have to die alone.” 

I knew Abraham struggled in school. In fact, it is pretty common knowledge. It was so good to hear someone telling him how many people here are for him and want to support him. 

Abraham showed me his books for each subject and the exams in his file. He was ranked last in his class, which was not surprising when many of his scores were under 30 percent. We stepped outside and had a talk about not testing the teachers so much and trying to get along with them so he can learn as much as possible when they are in the classroom, then came inside and heard the same thing from Tr. Annet. Abraham promised to try not to challenge the teachers too much and I agreed to check in with him once in a while to see how he was doing in that area. 

After that, we went to see Josephine’s teacher. Josephine is four years old and in her first year of nursery school. Her work was very impressive—she hardly colored out of the lines in her big numbers one through four and Tr. Rosemary said she gets along with the other students. 

Next it was Isaac’s turn. Isaac is a seven-year-old boy who is special to me. Last year I came to his classroom every Friday to check his books and make sure he was doing the work. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. This year, however, his handwriting is legible and he almost always finishes his work! Big improvements! We looked through all of his books, spoke with his teacher, and then started to leave the school area. 

We had made it halfway across the yard when I heard someone call my name from behind. Turning around, I saw Jonah running to us from his classroom. Out of breath, but with a big smile on his face, he said, “Auntie Katie, I want you to be my parent.” 

That was when I broke a little. 

What child has to ask someone to be his parent? 

I had been “playing parent” all morning because it was fun for me. I love these children. I know it is good for them to have someone checking in on their school work. And in a selfish way, I was doing it because being a parent made me feel important. 

Growing up, my parents were there. I never had to ask them to come to my parent-teacher meetings. I never had to ask them to come to my volleyball games or dance recitals. I never had to ask them to teach me how to drive or run a chainsaw or make lentil cheesebake. I never asked my Dad to show up to my rainy softball games in his bright orange raincoat, bright yellow hardhat and bright pink umbrella with the duck on the end. I was a little bit mortified, but he was there. They were there. And I certainly never had to ask someone to be my parent. 

I am not trying to criticize Noah’s Ark or the way things are done here. This is not a criticism of Piet and Pita, for they have provided so much for the children and if it weren’t for them many of these kids would not even be alive. They simply can’t be full-time parents to two hundred children. 

I am also not saying the aunties from the children’s home and family units are doing a bad job or neglecting the children in their care, for that is not the case either. Truth be told, I don’t think I would have what it takes to be a family unit auntie and live with ten children and have my job be to be their sort-of parent. I highly respect them. 

The thing is, this is not how children are supposed to grow up. Noah’s Ark is an institutionalized family, which is an oxymoron in itself. All of the workers—aunties, uncles, missionaries, teachers, pastors—are a fraction of a parent for a fraction of the children. But in order to thrive, children need more than a fraction. It takes two parents to make one child; doesn’t that tell you something? 

Please, parents, don’t make your children ask for your guidance. Don’t make them ask for your love. Don’t make them ask for you to be a parent to them. These things are meant to be given freely and if you can do that, your children will be some of the most blessed people on earth, whether or not they realize it or can articulate it to you. 

Jonah is a wiry twelve-year-old with a broken arm and a constant smile, and I was more than happy to be his parent for half an hour that Saturday. It was an honor. But he needs more than that. We all need more than that. 

education & discipleship

In my last post, What will have a lasting impact?, I pondered why I am here and doing what I do and where I think the Lord is leading me within His work at Noah’s Ark. To follow up, here is what it looks like broken down: 

Education

I think it sounds a bit stupid to say I moved to Africa to become a librarian, but I spend a good deal of time running the primary and secondary school libraries on the compound. Both libraries have the simple goal of giving students the opportunity to practice reading because it is such a necessary skill in life. I have been a bookworm my whole life and love seeing children and teenagers here developing the same habits. It brings me joy to see a student come check out a book during lunch and bring it back to me completed before supper (though it does make me worry a bit about whether they actually attend class). If they are able to read well, they will be able to learn more in class and from their books, they will do better in school and doors will open up for what they can do after finishing their education at New Horizon. Even if they don’t have academic aspirations, at least if they can read well then when they read the Bible they can focus on the information without stumbling over the words. 

The remedial reading program at the primary school has the same goals. Unfortunately, because of my schedule I can only work with a handful of students per term. It only scratches the surface of all the students who need reading help, but at least it is something. If they can read, they will improve in all their subjects and they can do more self-initiated learning. 

We have a book in the library called “The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind.” It is a true story about a boy from… oh, somewhere in Africa, though I can’t remember where now… who used scraps of rubbish and old bicycle parts to make a windmill and bring a small amount of power to his home, and then to the community. Do you know how he learned to make a windmill? He went to the library and read books!

Even the holiday program is a form of education. On the surface, it may look like a heap of games and crafts and movies, but here are some things they can learn from those: From craft projects, they develop their fine motor skills, creativity, and ability to stick with something even when it doesn’t turn out exactly how they want. From games they can learn how to be a good sport, how to play fair, and how to lose gracefully, and once they learn a game they can play it with their friends whenever they want. When the older children visit jjajjas in the village they learn more about the traditional Ugandan way of life and they have a chance to develop their sense of compassion by helping others. Of course when we go swimming they get to learn how to swim which will get them far in life if they fall in a fish pond or river. The point is, we don’t do those things so we can complete one activity and be done with it. We do them so they can learn a skill they can take with them and use in other areas of life. 

Discipleship

Before coming to Noah’s Ark, I never gave discipleship too much thought. Sometimes I did it, but since we never called it discipleship it didn’t quite click with me. 

Why should we disciple others? First off, Jesus commands it. If anyone can say “because I said so” it’s Him. Beyond that, He demonstrated that discipleship is the best way of spreading Christianity, and history has proven that. Here on the Noah’s Ark compound there is no excuse not to disciple others—when we live in such close proximity the possibilities are endless. This is how change will happen in Uganda: bring people more Jesus. 

The structured way I disciple others is through a Life Group. The teenagers on the compound (of which there are over one hundred) have the option of signing up for Life Groups, which are basically interest-based discipleship groups. Last year Christian and I started the Good Samaritans, a service group focused on helping those in need. We currently have twelve students in our group, which meets once a week at our house. Every week we have time for Bible study led by ourselves or one of the students, and then we discuss and plan which service projects we as a group want to undertake. The projects themselves usually happen on the weekends when the students are out of school. We have fed babies in the children’s home, made success cards for students taking a big test, written encouragement notes to people on the compound, made and sold food at youth events, and used the money to buy food for a local jjajja (grandfather) who is in poor health and two lame brothers who live down the road. 

How do we make disciples through that? We demonstrate how to serve in the love of Christ, both by serving our group and serving with our group. We teach them about the Bible on Tuesday nights. We get to know them—each week a different two members of our group come over for supper so we can get to know them on a more personal level. They tell us about their families, their pasts, their dreams for the future and how they came to know Christ. We pray together as a group and we pray for our group. Basically, we do bits and pieces of life together. 

Besides the teenagers, I disciple the other children in less structured ways. Again, it comes down to doing life together. When I am around the younger children, I have the opportunity to address conflict from a biblical perspective. When they see the way I live—my attitude, how I make decisions, the way I talk, how I use my time—they can see what the life of a Christ-follower should look like (I hope). They are young, but I know they pay attention, whether or not they realize it. Most of all, I try and love each one unconditionally, remembering that each one is a beloved child of God and if the God of the universe can love them well, there is no reason I cannot.

Jesus told His disciples, “You will do even greater things than these.” It sounds crazy to hear Jesus, Son of God, tell people that they will do greater things than what He has done. However, if each one had the Holy Spirit living in him, it was like twelve Jesus-es walking around doing great things! Sometimes I get discouraged by the limits of what I am able to do, but if Jesus can say “You will do even greater things than these” to His followers, then surely we can also say that to the people we are discipling. And then imagine the possibilities!

Awhile back, I was tasked with writing my own vision statement for what I am doing here. Or perhaps what I am doing with my life. At the moment, it’s the same thing. This post and the last one were simply my thought processes in figuring it out. (Apparently my thoughts require a lot of processing.) So, to sum it all up, my vision for my time at Noah’s Ark and in Uganda is this: 

to share God’s love with children in Uganda 

through education and discipleship

It will both describe and guide what I do, programmed and unprogrammed, structured and unstructured, in work and free time. What will have a lasting impact? Hands down, these kids. I get excited thinking about the potential, and I thank God that He has counted me worthy to be a part of it.