Gideon: Here, I have a present for you. Open my present!
Isaac (6): Yes! And then open my president!
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| Isaac |
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Jimmy (8): Auntie Katie, can I hold your keys?
Me: No, Vivienne is holding my keys.
Jimmy: Can I hold your paper?
Me: No, Jethro is holding my paper.
Jimmy: Can I hold your hand?
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Pastor Jared at the beginning of church: Okay everyone, find a neighbor and ask him this question: If your house was burning down and you could go back in for one thing, what would you get?
Me: Ruben, what would you get out of your house?
Ruben (9): A sausage!
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Me: Margaret, what is your best subject?
Margaret (10): Mathematics.
Me: Oh, so you must like numbers then!
Margaret: No.
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 |
| No quote, but look at Tabitha's face, then look at the poster behind her... |
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Some teenagers come to my house to play guitar.
Vanessa: Let’s play Indescribable.
Sophie: (singing) Indescribable, unsustainable…
Me: Um, Sophie, God is uncontainable, not unsustainable.
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Before church, Saul, a special needs four-year-old, needs to get back to his seat. About ten children surround him and guide him to the back of the building. As they pass, Ruben watches and whispers, “It’s like when they arrested Jesus.”
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Levi (6): Auntie Katie, look, look at my baby!
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| Levi and baby jackfruit |
As the P.7 class enters the library, looking smart in their uniforms, Bwabye walks by me without a shirt.
Me: Bwabye, what happened to your shirt?
Bwabye: It is absent.
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Ruben, Asaf, and Peter are eating supper in my house. Naturally, the topic of conversation gravitates toward whom, if any of us, is crazy. They agree that of the four of us, I am the only crazy one. I vehemently deny it, and then serve them ice cream.
Ruben: Auntie Katie, don’t you have any ice cream?
Me: No, no ice cream for me tonight.
Peter: Don’t you like ice cream?
Me: Of course!
Ruben: So you like ice cream, but you don’t have any?
Me: Yes.
Ruben: You see? You’re crazy.
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Madina (6): I don’t like sour sweeties.
Me: I think they are okay, but they make me go like this. (I suck in my cheeks.)
Madina: Eeeh, God did not send us to make faces like that.
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| Madina |
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As the children are putting flowers in my hair, they begin discussing whom I will marry, because of course anyone with flowers in her hair must be preparing for a wedding.
Tirza: You are going to marry Raphael.
Thomas: No, you are going to marry Uncle Christian!
Tirza: Wait, Auntie Katie, don’t you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don’t.
Isaac: Yes, you do! He is called me.
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While swimming with the nursery school children…
Jafeth: (eyes squeezed shut) Auntie Katie, I got water in my eyes!
Me: It’s okay, just go over to Auntie Stefani and she will wash it out with water from the hose.
Yes, I was being serious. No, I did not thoroughly prethink my response.
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Mary (10): Uncle Christian, when Auntie Katie goes will you give your baby nunu*?
Christian: No, they have formula for that.
Mary: Or you should consider purchasing a cow.
*Nunu is what they call breasts here.
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Tirza (6): Auntie Katie, it is boxing day! That means I get to box you!
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Caleb (8): Auntie Katie, they have refused Spiderman to wear your sandals.
 |
| Jake, Jesse, Caleb, Jimmy, Peter, Benja |
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Fatuma (7): Auntie Katie, what is that?
Me: What?
Fatuma: That.
Me: That what? I don’t know what you are talking about.
Fatuma: That thing.
Me: What does it look like?
Fatuma: It looks like the thing.
Me: Where is it?
Fatuma: It is on the other thing.
I never found it.
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Person #1: You see? I can make you laugh.
Person #2: I’m not laughing. That’s just my smile making noise.
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Christian comes by and shows me his red and purple spots from rubella.
Christian: You know how your scars sometimes turn different colors? Look at this!
Me: Wow… You know, I think you might look weirder than me now.
Christian: Yes!
Christy (9): You two have problems.
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Me: Ezra, the reason I come to the fish ponds with you is to make sure no one falls in. That makes it really hard to do when you don’t stay out of the water!
Ezra (15): But Auntie Katie—
Me: No, no buts. I know you are a teenager but you’re not listening. Next time you touch the water there will be consequences.
He goes to another pond to fish, then comes slinking back ten minutes later hanging his head.
Ezra: Auntie Katie, I think I need some consequences.
 |
| Ezra |
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Some children are playing in my house, and after awhile Isaac disappears into my bedroom and comes out a minute later.
Isaac: (whispering) Auntie Katie, I just put a toy lizard on your pillow to scare you.
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As I am hanging my running clothes on the line, Isaac points to my sports bra.
Isaac: Auntie Katie, what is this?
Dorothy: It is a bra.
Isaac: What is a bra?
Me: It holds my nunus in place while I go for jogging.
Thomas (6): Yes, otherwise they fall down.
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Nakato (5): Hulda had an idea that Group 3 gets to go for swimming when we get to primary school.
Me: That sounds like a good plan to me.
Nakato: What?
Me: I like Hulda’s plan. It is a good one.
Nakato: But satan is a very bad one.
I laugh, then, thinking of this blog, asked if I could take a picture of the children who were with me.
Me: Say cheese!
Hosea: Cheese!
Robby: Cheese!
Nakato: Satan! Satan! Satan! Satan!
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Babirye comes running into the school office and wraps herself around my legs.
Babirye (5): Auntie Katie, the safari is coming to get you!
Me: Yes, you have to watch out for safaris! Here come the lions, and tigers, and gorillas, and—
Babirye: And apples!
 |
| Front to back: Babirye, Nakato, Robby |
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A group of children gather in my doorway struggling to get closer.
Nathanael: Auntie Katie, please may I enter?
Me: No, not now.
Barnabas: Auntie Katie, please may I enter?
Me: No one is going to enter this afternoon.
Isaac: Auntie Katie, please may I don’t enter?
Me: Yes, you may don’t enter.
Isaac: Hooray! (and runs away with a huge smile on his face)
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As I am making homemade granola bars in Christian’s kitchen, he walks in and inhales deeply.
Christian: Wow… it smells like something real!
I’m not sure what that says about all my other cooking…
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 |
| Job and Ella the Elephant |
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